{"id":1038,"date":"2007-11-27T23:09:02","date_gmt":"2007-11-28T05:09:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/?p=1038"},"modified":"2007-11-27T23:09:02","modified_gmt":"2007-11-28T05:09:02","slug":"happy-bloomin-holidays-as-in-christmashanukkahkwanzaa-to-you-and-i-need-some-advice-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/?p=1038","title":{"rendered":"Happy Bloomin’ Holidays (as in, christmashanukkahkwanzaa) to You, and . . .
I Need Some Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>So, I have a love\/hate relationship with the holidays. On the one hand, I loathe and absolutely dread the materialism, the sugary-sweet Christmas ditties that play well<\/em> before Thanksgiving arrives, and the ads. Oh the commercials! I think each year that I will become numb to them, but I don’t. Everyone likes to talk up the Grinch’s epiphany — “‘Maybe Christmas,’ he thought, “doesn’t<\/em> come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more!'” (or, as it might appear in Latin, “Fortasse,” inquit “Laetitia diei festi ex ipsis muneribus non proficiscitur…Fortasse,” inquit Grinchus, “Laetitia diei festi non est res empticia, non est res quaestuosa!” Now, wasn’t that fun?) — but then we have things like this commercial from last year. Remember this? <\/p>\n

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I get (though it’s a stretch) that some people like her voice and all, but I don’t get why this family isn’t screaming, get the creepy Celine out of our living room floor! It’s 3 a.m., for *$#*!’s sake!<\/em> This ad plays like a horror movie in my world. <\/p>\n

But then, on the other hand, I love trimming the tree with my girls; hearing a really kickin’ Christmas song<\/a><\/strong> (that is not sung by the sinister, barely-clad, perfume-spraying, living-room-usurping Celine); baking cookies with my family; finding just the right, perfectly special gift (that is not Celine Dion’s new fragrance) for the people you love; and I have to see “It’s A Wonderful Life<\/a><\/strong>” every year. Must<\/em>. I know, I know. There’s this gem<\/a><\/strong> and this gem<\/a><\/strong>. And many others. But I have to see the moon-lasso bit (“What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You-you want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey, that’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon…Well, then you could swallow it. And it’ll all dissolve, see. And the moon beams that shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair…Am I talking too much?”). And when Harry comes back to town and says, “to my big brother George: the richest man in town,” well . . . it gets me every time. Blast it! Now, when Zuzu chimes in with “Look, daddy! Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an Angel gets his wings,” it’s a bit much for me, but the richest-man-in-town bit I gotta have. Oh, and every year I have to just, ahem, excuse that “she’s an old maid, and she’s a librarian<\/em>!” bit {dramatic score follows} when George is looking into the future at the poor, poor Mary. Ah well. No movie is perfect. (Mary, the poor spinster librarian, is pictured above). <\/p>\n

See how I’m torn on the holidays? <\/p>\n

I also love a challenge. That would be why this year — again (I made a half-hearted attempt last year) — I will be rounding up some new holiday titles. And here’s where I need your help: <\/p>\n

* * * First, if you know of any good, new ones, leave me a comment or drop me an email. I have a stack, and I will begin reviewing soon, but perhaps there’s something I’ve missed.<\/p>\n

* * * Second, since I like to be all-inclusive, send me any new Hanukkah titles if you have any. Kwanzaa, too. Those are the three big holidays this time of year (though the first week of December seems to be Hand Washing Awareness Week; December 1st is Eat A Red Apple Day; and December 13th is Ice Cream and Violins Day, whatever the hell that means . . . well, my apologies to those observances). Oh, and of course let’s not forget Winter Solstice and New Year’s, but I’ll cover snowy books (so fun!) and New Year’s as best I can. Anyway, I’ve probably got two whoppin’ Hanukkah titles (new, that is) lined up and one Kwanzaa, ’cause they’re slim pickins, folks. Or am I just looking in the wrong places? <\/p>\n

Remember: I’m talking ’07 titles, please. However . . .<\/p>\n

* * * Lastly, please tell me of any of your favorite holiday classics that might be leaving holes in my life. And I mean, they need to be good<\/em>. As good as Harvey Slumfenburger’s Christmas Present<\/a><\/em><\/strong> (1993) by John Burningham<\/a><\/strong> (the. most. supreme. holiday. title. My apologies to those who don’t celebrate Christmas, but I mean, have you read<\/em> this book?!) and Father Christmas<\/strong><\/em><\/a> (1973), the cognac-drinkin’ Santa (“happy bloomin’ Christmas to you . . .!”), by Raymond Briggs<\/a><\/strong> (I wrote a retrospective review of sorts of these titles here<\/a><\/strong> last year when, egads, all our images were so small. How could we stand it?). <\/p>\n

(Now I’m having trouble getting “Father Christmas” by The Kinks out of my head. Anyone else?) . . . <\/p>\n

Anyway and anyhow, anyone wanna help? If you recommend a new title for me (for review) or a holiday title that was insta-classic for you and is dear to your heart, I will do my best to get to it, though I can’t make any guarantees. Generally, I’ll take any help with my new challenge. <\/p>\n

Oh, and happy bloomin’ holidays to you, too. And, in case you’ve<\/em> never experienced the richest-man-in-town loveliness and want to see the look on Jimmy Stewart’s face at that moment (one of the best. movie. scenes. ever, which is at approximately -2:05 in this clip, the last 9 or so minutes of the movie), here ya go. Yeah, I’m hard-core about this movie:<\/p>\n

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So, I have a love\/hate relationship with the holidays. On the one hand, I loathe and absolutely dread the materialism, the sugary-sweet Christmas ditties that play well before Thanksgiving arrives, and the ads. Oh the commercials! I think each year that I will become numb to them, but I don’t. Everyone likes to talk up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-etcetera"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1038"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1038\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}