{"id":946,"date":"2007-10-25T00:47:45","date_gmt":"2007-10-25T06:47:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/?p=946"},"modified":"2011-11-25T23:32:24","modified_gmt":"2011-11-26T05:32:24","slug":"seven-impossible-interviews-before-breakfast-51-punk-farm-cow-sheep-pig-goatand-chicken-that-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blaine.org\/sevenimpossiblethings\/?p=946","title":{"rendered":"Seven Impossible Interviews Before Breakfast #51: Punk Farm (Cow, Sheep, Pig, Goat,
and Chicken, that is)"},"content":{"rendered":"

{Note: Please see the post below this one for today’s Robert’s Snow schedule —
and Anna Dewdney’s<\/a><\/strong> ’07 snowflake}<\/em><\/font><\/center><\/p>\n

eisha: <\/strong>OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!!! I cannot believe<\/em> we are ABOUT TO MEET PUNK FARM IN PERSON!!! Jules, how’s my hair? Do I have anything in my teeth?<\/p>\n

Jules: <\/strong>You’re fine. I am, like, shaking<\/em>, though, I’m so flippin’ nervous! God, what if I throw up? What if I throw up ON THE BAND???<\/p>\n

eisha: <\/strong>You will not<\/em> throw up. You can’t throw up, because then they’ll leave, and we won’t score this interview, and this interview is the coolest thing we’ve ever done on our little blog. Honestly, how many people can say they’ve interviewed a fictional farm animal band<\/em>? With a TOTALLY HOT BASS PLAYER? This is my chance to… I mean, this could totally make our careers. Or whatever. <\/p>\n

Dude, is this even happening? Maybe I’m dreaming it. Hey, pinch me?<\/p>\n

Jules: <\/strong>. . .<\/p>\n

eisha: <\/strong>OW!!! I didn’t say draw blood<\/em>… Whoa, do you hear that? Geez, ever heard of a muffler, people?<\/p>\n

Jules: <\/strong>(looking out the window) That’s their van! They’re here!! THEY’RE HERE!!!<\/p>\n

Jules & eisha: <\/strong> (jumping up and down in that annoying fangirl way<\/em>) SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n

Jules: <\/strong>Okayokayokay… be cool… breathe… <\/p>\n

eisha: <\/strong>Here they come… Okay, we can handle this… We’re professionals… whew<\/em>… <\/p>\n

Okay.<\/p>\n

You ready?<\/p>\n

Jules: <\/strong>Oh yeah. <\/p>\n

Let’s rock<\/em> this interview.<\/p>\n

* * * * * * *<\/center><\/p>\n


\n7-Imp<\/strong>: You all rocked the pier in Florida when you were in town (we traveled just to see you all). What was the band\u2019s inspiration for that punk metal version of \u201cThe Wheels on the Bus\u201d? Our ears are still ringin\u2019, man, but in a good way. <\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: That\u2019s right we did! That was an unbelievable show!<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: I write what I know and what I feel, you know? And man, that trip down to Florida was just . . . it was an intense experience. I hope that was reflected in the music.<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: I just like to play my bass.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Pig, has your popularity with your female fans caused any tension between you and the other members of the band? And, can we get your autograph?<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: Tension in the band? None that I have seen. But the ladies? Yeah, they like me. Sometimes like<\/em> me, like me. And I\u2019d be happy to give you my autograph. Who should I write this to? Jules? Eisha? Which one are you?<\/p>\n

(Sheep shoots Pig an incredulous look) . . . <\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Some people say punk rock died in the ’80s and that we should just get over it. What do you have to say to them? <\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: Man, that just gets my me. Punk is alive and well in the beating hearts of any kid or creature out there who doesn\u2019t want to play by society\u2019s norms. Punk isn\u2019t just a trend but a mindset . . . a way of life. <\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Female drummers are pretty rare in punk bands. Cow, do you ever feel like you get treated differently because of your udders? How do you feel about it?<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Some people see me walk in and I hear them mutter under their breath, but then I pick up the sticks and it\u2019s all over -\u2013 I put them all to shame. Spending countless hours grazing creates a lot of pent-up frustration and anger and when I get behind those drums, that\u2019s when it all comes out! I\u2019ve been known to break a few drumheads in my day.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Sheep, is there any truth to the rumor that you almost got your driver\u2019s license revoked in Omaha at the end of your tour? Were you really going 114 mph??<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Listen, I\u2019m so punk, I don\u2019t even have a license, so there was nothing to take away. And I don\u2019t even remember Omaha, because I was driving so fast, I didn\u2019t even notice it.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Chicken, we heard you had to be hospitalized for a nervous breakdown during your tour. Is it true? How are you doing now?<\/p>\n

CHICKEN<\/strong>: Well, we had to take some time from the hectic schedule so that I could re-coop. I wouldn\u2019t call is a nervous breakdown, so much as I would call it \u201cexhaustion.\u201d But now that I am rested we\u2019re back on the road and playing our remaining shows. <\/p>\n


\n7-Imp<\/strong>: Your van is beautiful, man. Who painted it? <\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: I did.<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: What?! What are you talking about!<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: The lightning bolt . . . the flames . . . that was all me!<\/p>\n

CHICKEN<\/strong>: Yeah, maybe you had the idea, but you didn\u2019t pick up a brush the entire afternoon!<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Take a look at his hooves. He hasn\u2019t worked on honest day in his life!<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: What does your publicist Jarrett J. Krosoczka<\/a><\/strong> say about your sudden, new-found fame? <\/p>\n

CHICKEN<\/strong>: Yeah, he gets a little hot-tempered about our success. <\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: He had the audacity to come storming into our dressing room after reading an interview we gave. He was all yelling, \u201cI made this band and I can break this band, it\u2019s up to you!\u201d Then he went all on and on about how we\u2019d better not leave him for other management.<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Show us the MOOLA!….<\/p>\n

(Everyone looks at Cow) . . .<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: No? Was that too much?<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: I . . . I . . . I wouldn\u2019t. It\u2019s just, you know. <\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Yeah. Okay.<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: I mean, that reference is already so old. And the pun was a little too . . . <\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Okay, I got it. I\u2019m done. No moola jokes. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: What\u2019s he up to these days? <\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Krosoczka? Eh \u2013 who knows. <\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: He mentioned something to us the other day, didn\u2019t he?<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: I don\u2019t know, I . . . I don\u2019t pay attention.<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: Yeah, something about some girl named Gina.<\/p>\n

CHICKEN<\/strong>: Oh yeah. Didn\u2019t he get married<\/a><\/strong>?<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Sure, whatever. Let\u2019s get back to talking about Punk Farm. Juleisha, next question please.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: What band would you most like to tour with?<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: There are so many. The California Raisins maybe.<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: Josie and the Pussycats . . . that would be hot.<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: The Gorillaz<\/a><\/strong>, man . . . it would be so dope . . . <\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Fat Albert & the Cosby Kids Junkyard Band . . . <\/p>\n

CHICKEN<\/strong>: Jem<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: What about MC Skat Cat? Do you think he\u2019s still working?<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: I don\u2019t know, but that would be a good combo.<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Maybe we could get his agent on the phone.<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: I don\u2019t know . . . I hear he\u2019s a bit of a diva. Rumor is, you take 2 steps forward . . . he takes 2 steps back.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Are you all digging your new PunkFarmSpace site<\/a><\/strong>? <\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Yeah, it\u2019s a really cool way for us to connect with all of the fans that come see our shows.<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: I have a fan page<\/a><\/strong> on it.<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Ugh . . . we know.<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: Well, I don\u2019t see any of you with fan pages on it . . . <\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: That junk doesn\u2019t matter. Besides, people know who the star of this band is and I\u2019m happy to see them arguing that point.<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Boys, boys \u2013 QUIT IT! We\u2019re in this together! As a band! As one! Going back to your question, PunkFarmSpace.com is the coolest. You need to go check it out.<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: I just spend hours on it, clicking from profile to profile. People put the weirdest stuff up on this Internet. It\u2019s crazy, dude!<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Um, Goat . . . are you single? If so, what are you looking for in a Nanny (Or a Billy? Don\u2019t want to make assumptions)?<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: That\u2019s very copasetic of you to keep that question so open-ended. It\u2019s cool, though. I\u2019m looking for someone to love, but right now I\u2019m married to the rock. Someday I\u2019ll settle down, maybe have some kids of my own. But for now, I\u2019m arm-in-arm with my bass. <\/p>\n

Besides, I would only hurt you and I couldn\u2019t live with that. So chin up, don\u2019t look so sad.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: Here are some questions we sometimes ask bloggers and even authors\/illustrators in our 7-Imp interviews:<\/p>\n

What are your other favorite things to do, other than playing and touring?<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: I\u2019ve been dabbling in some producing. Trying new things in the studio.<\/p>\n

PIG<\/strong>: I like to design things. I have a little sketchbook that I like to keep around.<\/p>\n

CHICKEN<\/strong>: I like card games.<\/p>\n

COW<\/strong>: Sometimes I just want to . . . I just want to dance, ya know?!<\/p>\n

GOAT<\/strong>: Yoga.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: What\u2019s one thing that most people don\u2019t know about you all?<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Farmer Joe runs a dairy farm, so we\u2019re never in harm’s way.<\/p>\n

7-Imp<\/strong>: What\u2019s in heavy rotation on your stereo\/iPod lately? And, hey, what Five Essential Punk Songs do you recommend to us?<\/p>\n

SHEEP<\/strong>: Top 5 songs? Only 5?<\/p>\n